The last thing I felt was a searing pain from my left knee. My vision swam and stars danced across my vision before a giant figure rushed to my side,
"Oak father preserve you child, are you alright?"
I then promptly passed out.
I awoke in Halsins tent, soft fur cradling me, beckoning me to stay where I was. I looked around, no one was here. I pushed myself up with my arms and looked at my leg, it was propped up with a couple pillows. It looked fine, I tried to move it a fraction of an inch, pain burst from it causing me to cry out in a sad whimper. God I sounded pathetic, but it f*cking hurt.
Rustling from outside, someone must have heard me. I quickly tried to sit up again and make myself look not so useless, but that just resulted in more pain from my leg. The arm I was trying to push myself up on gave out and I fell back onto the furs. This was ridiculous, I am a seasoned fighter. I am not about to be bedridden from a simple fall. The tent flap opened, Halsin entered, arms full of different medical bits and bobs. I recognized a bottle of ointment and a herb that helps with pain, although I normally used it to trip balls, but no one needed to know that.
"How are you feeling?" Halsin set down the supplies and sat next to me, legs crisscrossing.
"I feel fine," I answered, helping my case by pushing myself up again to sitting position. I was not about to talk to this man with the posture of sick child.
"Let's test that theory out then, when you can walk out my tent door on your own two legs. I'll believe that." He scooted to the side and let me look at the tent flap. It was only a few feet away, I can manage that. I made to get up, pushing onto my knees. That was my mistake, the injured knee quickly gave out. Sharply twisting inward and sending me sprawling on the furs, pain shot up my leg and tears filled my eyes.
"Child, this is not going to end well for you if you continue to try this." Halsin held out his hand and helped me back to the pelt he called his bed. Carefully he extended my leg and propped it back on the pillows.
"May I?" His fingers hooked underneath the hem on my camp clothes.
"Get it over with already." I sighed and found a pillow to focus my vision on.
He carefully pulled the pant leg up, hiking it slowly over my knee. He was being so careful, but that didn't stop the pinpricks of pain whenever he accidentally bumped into it. I kept my vision trained onto the pillow, dead set on not making a sound that was remotely even close to a cry. Although crying seemed like a viable option right about now.
"Is it alright if I feel around your knee?" Gods this man is insufferable, I wouldn't be surprised if he asked permission to f*cking breathe. "
Yes." I grabbed a pillow and squeezed it, steeling my mind for the pain to come.
...
Pain. Just pure pain, nothing filled my head but white hot pain. Tears gathered in the coners of my eyes and I bit down on the pillow. Halsin quickly took his hands away and placed an apologetic hand in my foot.
"I am deeply sorry, I didn't mean to cause you any harm." I sniffed and a couple tears rolled down my cheeks.
"The only way for me to see what is wrong, is to feel around. Can I get you anything to help you before I continue?"
I weighed my options and ultimately decided that someone ripping my fingernails off would be better than this. The pain was agonizing of course, but the kindness that Halsin was giving me wrenched something in my gut, he hadn't made fun of me or laughed when I toppled over. Which would have surely happened when I lived at home. He treaded through this situation with seriousness that threw me off balance. I tried to open my mouth, but a feeling of muteness washed over me. I shook my head and buried my face in the pillow, bracing myself for the shock.
For a spilt second nothing hurt when Halsin put a hand over my knee, maybe it got magically fixed. He then tried to extend my leg and that sudden stabbing pain returned. I bit down on the pillow again, holding my breath so as to not make a single sound. Not that I could anyway. Tears gathered in my eyes once more. Halsin quickly returned my leg to the pillows and looked up at me.
"The joint is out of place, and by your response to me moving it, some nerves are pinched in the socket." I stared at him,
"How long?" I croaked
"Depends how badly damage your-"
"How. Long?"
Halsin sighed, "I know this is frustrating, but the quickest I can see you walking is a good week."
That's when I started crying, tears spilled over my face and down onto my shirt. It can't be, I have to go and fight. Not laying in a bed like some godsdamned princess while the others go off and defeat monsters, I needed to redeem myself. No one else in this camp would go down that easily, hells even Astarion would just walk through the pain, gods knows he has been through worse and he milked everything for attention.
I didn't register Halsin had moved beside me until I felt him grab my hand. I looked up at him with vision obscured with tears. His eyes were filled with nothing but kindness, not even pity, he was sympathetic at best. That tugged at my gut once again and I started proper sobbing.
The last time I cried in front of someone, I received a backhand and told to 'suck it up, children of mine do not show such weakness'. I probably looked crazy, sobbing in front of this giant elf because he told me I am out of service for a week. But he just looked at me and slowly, gently pulled me into a hug. He hugged me like I was something made of glass, like if I was moved to quickly I would shatter into a million pieces. I didn't think more tears could come out of me, but they did. I sobbed into his shoulder and trembled. And he just held me, one hand cradling my head and the other rubbing my back. The sensation was shocking quite frankly, I don't think anyone has even touched me this gently before. Even past lovers, but this felt... different.
I stayed there for quite awhile, clinging to the massive elf. The physical touch was something I didn't realize I needed until now, and I think if I let go he would disappear. And he didn't move either, beside the slight adjustment to stretch out his legs so he could better hold me. We stayed there for quite a while, I finally came to my wits I realized what was going on. I was being cradled by one of the people I fight with,
I just spent godd knows how long crying into this man's shoulder. And it felt good? Something was wrong, I pushed out of his grip staring at him and then I attempted to curl in on myself, maybe this was all a bad dream. That was only met with intense pain when I flexed my leg.
"I-" my voice was shaky and uneven, but haslin just looked at me. With that ever patient gaze. I cleared my throat and tried again. " I want to get out of this tent and sit by the fire"
Halsin smiled and nodded, "Would you prefer me carry or just assist you?"
"Just help me up, I can make it from there."
"If you insist."
I reached out my hands and he grabbed them in return, pulling me onto my feet. By the gods it felt good to stand. I shook his hand away and took a deep breath
One foot
It didnt hurt persay, I kept my leg at a strange half bent position and put my weight on it.
The other foot
Slowly but surely I got to the tent flap, Halsin was directly behind me in case I fall. But I didn't, I pushed the tent flap open took a step out and let out a triumphful humph.
"Well well well, look who finally decided to join us!" Karlach made eye contact with me and gave a enthusiastic smile. "Handicapped and everything, get over here."
"Good to see you up and kicking." Gale gave a smile and returned to preparing supper.
"Tsk, a warrior like them will be back to their restored glory soon. I wish you speedy recovery." Lae' zel gave me a firm stare and nodded her head.
I hobbled over to Karlach like a calf learning how to walk. My foot only caught on a root once, it sent sparks of white hot pain through my leg, I took a deep breath and composed myself. Karlach made to get up and help me over but Halsin put a hand up.
"It seems our little leader has a point they need to prove to me." He chuckled
"Hmmm alright solider,"
I slowly lowered myself down onto Karlachs tree trunk seat, and Halsin sat right next to me. Karlachs engine had been fixed a couple days ago, I wanted to give her a hug once dammon had repaired her. But the fear of something more paralyzed me to the ground, I had given her a smile, shook her hand, and made a half assed excuse on needing to go to the bathroom.
But something about the way Halsin had hugged me snapped something inside of myself. *To hells with it* before I lost my nerve I turned to Karlach and put my hand on her shoulder. It was warm and the little vents let out steam that tickled my palm. Karlach looked at me with confusion, I had always tried to avoid conversation with her. I had steeled her away under the fear of her getting to close. But not anymore, I didn't have to be afraid with these people. They cared about me and I cared about them.
"Soldi-" I put a hand to her mouth and stopped her from saying anything that would make me start crying again.
" I'm going to say this before I lose my balls, Karlach Cliffgate you are the hottest person I have ever seen in my life. You are kind, compassionate, understanding, energetic, and if I kept naming your amazing qualities we would be here all night. I love you. Alot. And I'm sorry I didn't say anything before, I was scared. But I'm not anymore and if you don't feel the same I would love to still be friends. There I said it."
The group had gone very quiet. Everyone was staring. Flustered I took my hand off of Karlach's shoulder and scooted away, only to be met by the wall of an elf seated next to me.
"sh*t soldier," Karlach scratched the back of her neck, moved closer and continued "I thought I would have to resort to just bottling everything up-"
I never got to know what she was going to say, I was moving back over to her and grabbing her in for a hug before she could get the rest of her sentence out. She was so warm, every inch of her radiated heat, heat that chased away the cold darkness that surrounded them in the shadow cursed lands. Heat that drove out the voice in my head telling me to stop this before someone got hurt. She was the only one there and it felt, well nothing can quite describe it. It was a peace, a happiness, a comfort, a completion. All of those things wrapped up in a pretty little package called Karlach. And I was never going to let go. I pulled my face away from Karlach's chest to see the biggest smile on her face. Her hands found my face and she held me there gazing into my eyes. Gale ruined the moment when he walked into the circle with a big pot and loudly proclaimed
"Dinner is served!"
That broke us out of our stupor and Karlach retrieved two bowls of a very interesting soup that Gale had conjoured up. I ate pressed up against Karlach, my head leaning on her muscular bicep. A flood of giddiness washed over me and I couldn't help but smile just a little bit wider. I looked to the side of me and Halsin was still there, although Astarion had slunk next to him. I caught his eye and mouthed a 'thank you' to him, he smiled in response and returned to his bowl of 'soup.
